on being gwyneth

fucking allergies. my entire respiratory system has exploded in a tsunami of snot.

1. Every Penguin for himself.
2. Except where the needs of some other penguin would preempt the needs of Morty.
3. Greed is Good. Commerce is our business. Business is our pleasure.
4. Business before pleasure.
5. Except where the business of another would prempt the pleasure of Morty.
6. I Got Mine, You Get Yours.
7. Then give it to Me.
8. If you can’t do it inebriated, it’s not worth doing.
9. The Small and Ornery shall not inherit the Earth.
10. But We shall be awarded it upon contesting the Will in Judgement Day Probate Court.
11. Schadenfreude is the best flavor of Haagen Dazs.

when i listen to Tosca, i hear a lot of Carl Stalling.

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i, Boris, am invincible.

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i love watching the bunnies next to the railroad tracks.

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every night is a struggle between really wanting a drink and knowing i’ll feel much better if i just don’t.

i want to take alison and our foam clubs out to the local park so we can whack the crap out of each other. she’s concerned that it may violate local ordinances.

i so don’t give a shit.

“yeah, asswipe, there’s 6 more weeks of winter. now piss off and let me finish my lunch in peace and quiet!”

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i used to be pretty good at delivering a plausible line of bullshit. better than half the time i talk out of my ass, my basic intelligence stands me in good stead and i wind up saying something fairly close to the mark.

unfortunately, my coworker has taken up the habit of googling just about everything i come up with, which makes it a lot harder to get away with.

-shakes fist at the internet-

i just dropped a block of knives on my foot.
the result was just about what you might imagine.

i think it’s about time to lighten the place up a little, don’t you?

yep. so do i.

follow the bouncing blog

i’ve just learned that Majel Roddenberry has died of leukemia.

damn damn damn damn damn damn damn.

my mom sometimes reads my blog (hello, alice), and she mentioned recently that she was having a hard time with the new layout. so i’ve tweaked the font and contrast a bit. hope it helps.